yes...

as of today i am on vacation. i am jetting off to London, England for all things poetry, art, friends and family. it has been awhile since i crossed the pond, 10 years. has it been that long... yes!

as sure as i am that somethings remain the same somethings have probably changed. ten years is a long time. i am well overdue. i have always had a very deep fondness for London or England in general. could it be the history, architecture, high tea, the rain, the fog? most of my families heritage comes from the British Isles. or could it be the two pieces of artwork my parents hung in the living room? i remember as a little girl i was always drawn to these to pictures. one was Big Ben the other of a red coat guard standing outside a building. the two pieces were brown and beige tones done in a watercolour like style behind a thin gold frame. i would stare at them for hours. you know i stared at them so much that when i close my eyes i can see them as clear as day. it is sad because i do not think my parents have them anymore. they will forever remain a childhood memory.

whatever my connection with London is, it is one i can not deny. even though i was born in Canada i feel it is not the place that is in my heart. do not get me wrong... i luv Canada. for everything that it is and everything that it is not! England is my home away from home. i will return within two weeks. full of inspiration.

well... i have a few last minute things to do and a plane to catch! *wink*

turn the page to...

yesterday i renewed my membership and picked up my copy of the Stroll's anthology. my poem here she said is featured on page 97. nothing wrong with that all!

the weekend is gone

Sunday i had another poetry reading at the main library downtown. this reading was apart of the Edmonton Poetry Festival. which was a week long festival. everyday a new venue to listen to fellow poets. i read to a packed house. all the seats were full, people were even standing! i kept my five minute set on the move with minimal intro's and lots of eye contact. i got grouped with six other poets, who were absolute amazing. with a poetry reading like that, i wish every week were poetry week.

and we met again

Sunday morning i woke up to find what appeared to be a black dot moving down the white curtains. upon taking a closer look i saw that it was a ladybug... THE ladybug, our former humble house guest of the Royal Windsor Arms. Steve McQueen/Houdini had never left. ever since the great escape i remained hopeful that one day the ladybug would return. it is nice to know something so small can be so resilient.

a tube of many shades

my trips to the art store were very predicable. through the doors, straight to the back, then to the right and hang a left. pretty straight forward. then they remodeled!!! buying paint could not be more easier. better displays and new lower prices... always a bonus considering everything is on the rise and the larger Winsor + Newton tubes. which i am in luv with. not all the colours are available in the large tubes but hey i am not complaining. the basics are good enough.

i also picked up a package of Derwent tinted charcoal pencils. i am excited to try the five muted colours. my experiments will be fun!

on one of my nightly walks i came across a cat. at first it did not notice me but then the cat did, and did i ever get the once over from this creature of habit. so i gave it the once over too. so there we both were in the dead of night making eye contact. making sure we stayed out of each others way. with silence all around us. so much was said through a glance and a stare.

are we there yet

Where did February go? well i guess i was having some fun. March is here and it has brought spring. big blue skies and lots of sunshine. today i enjoyed a bit of ice creme, Maple Walnut. at night i am on a mission of power walking *every* night regardless of what it is like outside. i think all this walking is tiring me out. which does not help my creativity. it may clear my mind but i need a cluttered mind to let my creativity flow. i can't believe it has been awhile since i posted... i will do my best to be here more often. new month... new things to come...

Churchill's got my back

my poetry reading on Sunday went very well. there was a great audience turn out despite the near white out conditions. i was pleased with the selection of my poems being scattered throughout the bookstore. my thanks go to Greenwoods, family, my follow poets and friends who came to support me.

weekend poetry reading

this weekend i will be reading my poetry at Greenwoods bookstore. all week i have been preselecting, then editing, removing and then preselecting {again} my poems. honestly i probably do not need a week to prepare but i like to know what i will be delivering to my audience.

i have done many readings over the years and it is similiar but different. like driving through the prairies... you can probably do it with your eyes closed but you keep them open just incase there is a slight bend in the road.

i luv listening to other poets. it is one thing to read a poem in the comfort of your own home, whether it be a book or on a blog but to listen to a poem is quite unique. each poet breathing life into their words. listening to them form sounds and shapes that dance around the audience. is inspiring!

i look forward to this weekend with great anticipation and exhilaration.

sandstone

i have noticed that it has been awhile since i did a blog post. this is not intentional... of coarse, it never is. there have been some things that had to come first. also i have been going through my five note books, that are 200-300 pages each, filtering and reworking ideas. i found this one and gave it some life.

SANDSTONE

i walked down to the ocean to find my special place. the one by the big rock. bending to my knees i started to silently collect the sand in my hands. allowing the sand to filter through my fingers like a sieve. until my hands and fingers were left with the earthly particles that stuck to my skin. not wanting to let go.

are we all little particles that stick not wanting to let go?

i decided to dig deeper into the sand. my finger nails embedded with the tiny grit and grain. digging like a pirate for the buried treasure. there is none to be had. the tide gently washes to the shore. creeping up to my special place. smoothing out all rough and ripped surfaces. the ocean spills into my footprints. the sand absorbs every drop. my footprints vanish. concealing my existence.

i stare beyond the horizon as the warm breeze combs my hair. brushing my cheek. whispering in my ear. it is easy to remember all the things loved and lost when i am out here. they have found a place beyond the horizon. beyond the sun.

© copyright written on January 21, 2010 by JAQ. publishing prohibited unless with the author's permission. photo by JAQ.

Melissa... is that you?

i wrote this awhile ago. call it a short story or call it the beginning of something bigger. i haven't decided.

MELISSA... IS THAT YOU?

i walked away. i had my reasons. i had a few. i needed sometime to think things through. to stop the mad race that kept replaying over and over again in my head. the words swarming at me like aphids in the backyard on a hazy summer evening.

she had to concentrate. allow herself room to breathe before everything... the walls, the floors and the books started to consume her. time can erase but all it takes is one reminder. one word that puts you back to that place. she saw herself trapped between December and whatever month it is now. looking blankly at the calendar. she had lost all track of time.

"where have i been"? she asked herself. trying to scratch the surface.

until the phone rang...

i didn't pick it up right away. i waited and picked up after the second ring but before the third ring for sure. i said "hello". the voice at the other end of the telephone said "Melissa... is that you"? it took a few seconds for the words to sink in. i paused and was about to answer but i caught myself. remember, all it takes is one reminder. one word. there i was back to that place. with all my energy i replied "no, you have the wrong number". i felt a little numb. not even waiting for a reply i pulled the phone away from my ear and hung up. my eyes shifted to the phone with a sinking stare.

"Melissa"?

do i sound like a Melissa"? the anger was swelling but not reaching the threshold.

"Melissa..........." the eyes tightened. the face blank. draining then wiped clean.

the silence was deafening. here comes the flood. the blood draining from her cheeks. the thoughts rushing. spilling out all over the floor. the flood she could not control but you could. your pretentious observations. your holier-than-thou ego. a martyr to your own lies. fragments floated throughout the house. down the stairs. down the hall. in each and every room. every crack oozed with the flood.

© copyright written on April 22, 2009 by JAQ. publishing prohibited unless with the author's permission. artwork by JAQ